I feel frustrated and yet I know I should not, perhaps this is Allah’s test for me but truly the road to Allah is like playing snake and ladder. One moment you are happy you are going up the ladder and then just a small mistake or misstep, down you go, sliding down the snake.
Truly it’s not easy to gear yourself up towards Allah, you’ve to push yourself to fight against laziness, have to fight the whisper of the devil everytime when its time to do the prayers and more..oh much more to fight against. 
And when you think you’re finally there, stepping on the road that will leads you to Him, then out of nowhere you went sliding down back to square one?
Isn’t it frustrating?? I am so so feeling dejected now and I know I should not be.
I know the road to Allah is not an easy one……
I suppose now I have to start from ground zero again, to gear up all my intentions, boost my motivations and oil my inner self with lots lots and lots of du’a as well as zikrullah.
Astaghfirullah….
May Allah forgive me for being weak and despondent in the face of his test and May He gives me the strength, faith and positive attitude to keep continue fighting towards the road that leads to Him.
Ameen!
Insya’Allah!!
Posted by Farhana on December 19, 2007 at 9:11 pm
As-salaamu’alaykum wa Rahmatu Llahi wa Barakatuhu my dearest sister,
Ameen.
I truely understand your post..I think all those striving to please Allah, do as well.
No-one will ever reach perfection, only the Prophet (salAllahu’alayhi wa-salaam) came close to that..and even he made mistakes. But Allah already knows that, He is well aware of what each one of us is capable of. The idea is to keep going, and when we slide down, to get up..dust our knees and climb back up. That’s why consistancy and perseverance are so important in Islam.
And our ‘tests’ should make us stronger. Which sounds like that’s exactly what effect it has on you. Masha’Allah. To have the determination to keep going (or even start back from ground zero).. just shows the real strength of you imaan.
So my dearest sister, please don’t be discouraged. You are doing exactly what you are suppose to. A difficult journey, full of bumps.. but well worth the struggle.
May Allah make is easy for you. Ameen.
Wa’alaykum as-salaam
Love Farhana
Posted by adikbongsu on December 20, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Wa’alaikumussalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakahtu Farhana,
No words can explain what I feel reading ur comments dear sister.
Jazakillah khairan for the encouraging words and du’a.
*HUGS*