I believe I have reached a stage in my life whereby I do not see the need or hope/crave for other people’s affection. This could be due to maturity, wisdom gained over the years plus the reality check that it is more important to gain Allah’s affection than other humans.
I used to fret about how other people feel about me, becomes worried and feel hurt easily when I received negative treatment from them. This is more so when these people are from my family members and my in-laws.
But over the years, through experience and I hope guidance from Allah, I have become more tolerant, tried to understand why certain people do things the way they did, more immune to their insensitive ways. The recent happenings to me just these few days have convinced me that it does not matter anymore what these people do to me. I heard them, and I don’t feel anything. No feelings of hurt, no assumption of why they did, no pain whatsoever. I was feelingless. How to really describe I truly don’t know but one thing I do know, was that I have no negative feelings towards them. I just accept it as it is.
Posted by Maryam on February 22, 2008 at 11:44 pm
Check it out – http://infoguide.wordpress.com/2008/02/22/do-to-before-you-turn-18/
Posted by adikbongsu on February 23, 2008 at 12:54 am
Another tagging maryam?…hehehe i still owe u one
Posted by Maryam on February 23, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Done then, Why not writing both in the same post ???
Posted by Farhana on February 23, 2008 at 7:56 pm
As-salaamu’alaykum wa Rahmatu Llahi wa Barakatuhu my dearest sister,
This is a very sad post. I pray you are feeling well.
AlhumduliLlah, I am very happy though that you have no negative feelings towards ‘them’. It takes a lot of strength to do that. Insha’Allah your reward is with Allah
May Allah continue to bless you with patience, and may He show Mercy on you as you have on others. Ameen.
Wa’alaykum as-salaam
Lots of Love
Farhana
Posted by Umm Yusuf on February 23, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Assalaamu Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Adik,
Subhan’Allah this is a very hard state to reach and takes alot of patience and strength. Mash’Allah you are a really strong sister. Alhamdullilah.
May Allah make things easy for you. ameen.
Posted by ummabdurrahman on February 24, 2008 at 11:41 am
As Salaamu ALaikum Sis:
Wow, I can really feel you through your words. I too have used the word numbness in my life BUT it I don’t agree with you when you say to accept it.
Posted by adikbongsu on February 25, 2008 at 12:23 am
Wa’alaikumussalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh dear sisters,
insya’Allah Maryam, I will do both soon…
jazakallah sister UmmYusuf and Farhana for your du’a
Sister UmmAbdurrahman, frankly I feel at peace now that I don’t have to fight so many negative emotions which used to bring me nothing but more heartache
Posted by BM on February 25, 2008 at 11:02 am
As salamu ‘alaykum,
Masha Allah, this is a high maqam I wish could attain. May Allah protect you and your family and guide you to even higher stations, amin.
[Found your blog through the "Don't be Sad" network.]
Posted by adikbongsu on February 26, 2008 at 12:42 am
Wa’alaikumussalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
Welcome BM to my site.
Amiin to your du’a and May all of us be showered with Allah’s proctection and blessing,
insya’Allah.