A strand from my mind

The mind is a wonderful thing.  Its like a whole world of its own.  Inside it we can find chambers of memories of our childhood, our past and present, memories that makes us laugh, cry and more.  It also contains knowledge and skills that we have acquired.

Today, time checked 12.15 am and here a chamber in my mind have opened up to a memory years ago.  A strand of that particular memory is now playing vividly in my in-house super duper plasma tv.  It flashback to the time just days before my mother passed away (May Allah bless her soul, Al-Fatihah)

The screen showed me prostrating in prayer and earnestly asking Allah to cure my mother of her illness and prolong her life.  It showed me even telling Allah s.w.t that I did not mind my life being halved.  I knew it was foolish to ask for something which was already predestined.  Yet during that time, I was afraid of losing my mother and it was painful to look at her in pain day and night.  As a daughter during those difficult time, asking and seeking Allah’s help was the only thing I could do for her since medical wise the doctor had already said it was impossible.

My mother died few days later and though I did not get my prayers answered in the way I want,  yet …. yet I knew that Allah had answered them with the best alternative answer for her if not for me.  To be rid of her pain and died peacefully  …. finally moving on to the next world was a relieved for her I’m sure.  Allah knows best and He is the Most Benevolent. 

I lost my mother and yet now that i have this flashback, I realised that in losing her …. Allah had made me gained something.  Allah had given me I believe a sense of maturity, wisdom and strength to endure the up and downs of life.

No idea why this memory came flashing back today but I’m glad for it because I could see my late mother vividly and I so so am missing her.  Perhaps its due to the 4 times recitation of the Surah Yasiin that our Halaqah class did tonight and since one of my intentions was giving the rewards of the recitation to both my late parents ….. triggered this flashback.

Al-Fatihah to both my parents …. Allahyarhamha Bedah Bte Abdullah and Allahyarham Mahmood Bin Ibrahim.

Al-Fatihah to my late teacher …. Allahyarhamha Sharifah Badriyah Bte Syed Ali Alsagoff and husband Allahyarham Syed Ahmad Bin Syed Mohamad Alhabshi.

Amiinnn…..