May Allah bless her ….

My second child has 2 names. The first was taken after Siti Hajar and the second one was named after Umm Sulaym…. both were great examples of muslim women. When I conceived my girl, it was my wish and still is that she will grow up with beautiful akhlak and iman such as these two women that Allah had blessed. Amin.

Here is the story of Umm Sulaym or Rumaisha as she was known before her marriage.

The Story of Umm Sulaym & Abu Talhah

A visit to the graveyard

About 2 weeks ago, hubby and I plus 2 of our kids went to the graveyard in the evening.  It was rather an unplan visit. 

view of the graveyard from far…

 

Upon reaching the graveyard, we went to my mum’s first.  As usual I felt like its not enough to be just standing and looking at her grave.  I want to hug her realtime. PERIOD!

 

hubby cleaning my father’s grave ….

The kids had lots of questions about the graveyard and what’s going on after we are buried.  I had quite a talk about this matter with them.  The youngest said she felt afraid but who doesn’t right?  Just imagining oneself buried inside the earth, dark, alone, not knowing what will happen to us and all those unwanted visitors swarming around our body …. just creeps me out too!  Reflection time!

Next, we went to my father’s ….. his was always the most challenging one to find cos it was right in the middle and further down the road.  Alhamdulillah, we did find his grave quite easily to our delight. 

By now, it was already almost 6 pm ….. I asked my husband whether its okay to make another stop and he said ok.  Thus, we travelled to another part of the graveyard …. further down and rather new graveyard to visit my late teacher’s grave.

I had a vague idea of how to get there, alhamdulillah we managed to find the plot but it took us rather long to find her grave.  Have to thank hubby for being persistent.  He simply did not give up and in fact he was the one who suggested that I sms to ask for the plot number.

We were all looking for “Sharifah Badriyah” … but just could not locate the name.  Finally, after I got my answer thru the sms, we realised the name written as “Hjh Badriyah”

It was right in front of us but we were just too focus on finding the word “sharifah”….

 

my teacher’s grave …

Alhamdulillah ….

Visiting the graveyard was soothing and most effective in bringing us down to reality ….. that death is just round the corner

May Allah forgives us and bless us all, especially to those who have departed before us, our love ones …. Amin.

PS : Be generous and recite Al-Fatihah for all of our loved ones …. please do, Al-Fatihah!

Which heart?

Which Type of Heart Do You Have?

The Types of Heart
Author: Ibn al-Qayyim
Article ID : TZK020001 [806]

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Just as the heart may be described in terms of being alive or dead, it may also be regarded as belonging to one of three types; these are the healthy heart, the dead heart, and the sick heart.

* The Healthy Heart *

On the Day of Resurrection, only those who come to Allah with a healthy heart will be saved. Allah says: “The day on which neither wealth nor sons will be of any use, except for whoever brings to Allah a sound heart. (26:88-89)”

In defining the healthy heart, the following has been said: “It is a heart cleansed from any passion that challenges what Allah commands, or disputes what He forbids. It is free from any impulses which contradict His good. As a result, it is safeguarded against the worship of anything other than Him, and seeks the judgement of no other except that of His Messenger .

Its services are exclusively reserved for Allah, willingly and lovingly, with total reliance, relating all matters to Him, in fear, hope and sincere dedication. When it loves, its love is in the way of Allah. If it detests, it detests in the lght of what He detests. When it gives, it gives for Allah. If it witoholds, it withholds for Allah. Nevertheless, all this will not suffice for its salvation until it is free from following, or taking as its guide, anyone other than His Messenger .”

A servant with a healthy heart must dedicate it to its journey’s end and not base his actions and speech on those of any other person except Allah’s Messenger . He must not give precedence to any other faith or words or deeds over those of Allah and His Messenger, may Allah bless him and grant him peace.

Allah says: “Oh you who believe, do not put yourselves above Allah and His Messenger, but fear Allah, for Allah is Hearing, Knowing. (49:1)”

* The Dead Heart *

This is the opposite of the healthy heart. It does not know its Lord and does not worship Him as He commands, in the way which He likes, and with which He is pleased. It clings instead to its lusts and desires, even if these are likely to incur Allah’s displeasure and wrath. It worships things other than Allah, and its loves and its hatreds, and its giving and its withholding, arise from its whims, which are of paramount importance to it and preferred above the pleasure of Allah. Its whims are its imam. Its lust is its guide. Its ignorance is its leader. Its crude impulses are its impetus. It is immersed in its concern with worldly objectives. It is drunk with its own fancies and its love for hasty, fleeting pleasures. It is called to Allah and the akhira from a distance but it does not respond to advice, and instead it follows any scheming, cunning shayton. Life angers and pleases it, and passion makes it deaf and blind (1) to anything except what is evil. To associate and keep company with the owner of such a heart is to tempt illness: living with him is like taking poison, and befriending him means utter destruction.

* The Sick Heart *

This is a heart with life in it, as well as illness. The former sustains it at one moment, the latter at another, and it follows whichever one of the two manages to dominate it. It has love for Allah, faith in Him, sincerity towards Him, and reliance upon Him, and these are what give it life. It also has a craving for lust and pleasure, and prefers them and strives to experience them. It is full of self-admiration, which can lead to its own destruction. It listens to two callers: one calling it to Allah and His Prophet and the akhira; and the other calling it to the fleeting pleasures of this world. It responds to whichever one of the two happens to have most influence over it at the time.

The first heart is alive, submitted to Allah, humble, sensitive and aware; the second is brittle and dead; the third wavers between either its safety or its ruin.

Notes: 1. It has been related on the authority of Abu’d-Darda’ that the Messenger of Allah said, “Your love for something that makes you blind and deaf.” Abu Daw’ud, al-Adab, 14/38; Ahmad, al-Musnad, 5/194. The hadith is classified as hasan.

 

(source : Ramadhan Reminders)

Random thoughts ….

Who am I trying to fool????

Only myself … and all because I don’t love myself enough!

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I miss her …. so very much and its only just days since our last “conversations”… *sigh* ..

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Been having sharp pains on my upper abdomen yesterday …… very painful but no idea what’s the cause

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un ….

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Need to push and cajole myself to get up again … UP!!!! DO YOU HEAR???  don’t leave the existing state longer for it should not even happened!

Definitely not loving myself now…..

 

Khalas!

blogging dilemma

so many things to write … to let out but somehow after typing them out here, the urge to publish diminish …

I typed and typed …. alas I delete them ….

afraid what i wrote …. the intentions will change … the words misunderstood …

Oh Allah! only you know what BEST for me … and ONLY YOU know the real me ….

…..

Clean …. Cook

Visitors … visiting

Eat …. drink

Tired … sleepy

That’s the keywords for Eid ….

Who am I?

The recent news in the newspapers are abuzz about how people regard themselves as Singaporean and whether they are very much aware of their race.  There are talks about how the minorities in Singapore do not need special privileges and how imp0rtant it is to maintain the meritocracy system instead of looking at one’s race.

So who am I?  Do I consider myself as Singaporean and full-stop? Or do I consider myself as being Malay first and then a Singaporean second?

Hmmm ….. this remind me of a past event.  At that time, I was just about 6-7 years old.  A few of my father’s sailor friends had come visiting.  They saw me and started to chat with me.  One of the question they asked me was “Seri … kamu ni anak aceh kan?”  which means ‘Seri … you’re an acehnese isn’t it?”

I know they were teasing me … but I remembered I reacted very strongly to this question.  I looked at them fiercely and said “NO!!! …. I am not! I am a Singaporean.”

They laughed and said “but your father is an acehnese, so your blood is of aceh.”

To that, I scowled and said …. “My blood is red …. Not aceh!”.  With that, I left the room …. Leaving behind them to laugh at my expense.

Now … coming to the present, if anyone is to ask me this question again … what would be my answer?

“Putting on my thinking hat” ….*pause*

I know what my answer is … I don’t need even a minute to come to it.

Who am I? …..

I am …… foremost,  a servant of Allah

I am ….. a muslim

I am ….. a Singaporean Malay

FULLSTOP!!!!

I am proud of who I am and I am proud of the diversity in my country.  For Allah s.w.t. has created us all in different races with a purpose.  A beautiful purpose.

Not to discriminate … not to be look down by others … not to be at war with one another …

BUT!

To know and recognize one another….. to respect one another irregardless of the similarities or differences in our looks, language or culture.

I love my blood siblings, and my brother- and sisters-in-Islam.  When I looked at them, I don’t see them as being an arab or a Javanese or an Indian or a Chinese etc.

I look at them with eyes that tell me they are family.

 

Khalas!

Hari Raya songs

Yesterday, for the first time for this year, I heard the “Hari Raya” songs …. and I could not control my heart from weeping silently. 

As I listened, my mind was having flashbacks and my heart felt as if someone was squeezing it dry.  So painful!!!

It is usually this period of time that I missed my late parents the most. No idea why but Ramadhan and Syawal just bring out all these feelings 100% more intense that the usual.

As I seat in the car …. I was crying inside … HARD!!!

Ya Allah! Please convey my “salam” to my parents and please bless their souls and forgive them.

Amin amin Ya Rabb.

Al-fatihah!